How Brotherly Love Taught Me To Be A Woman

How Brotherly Love Taught Me To Be A Woman

My older brother wanted a little brother. Every guy craves one. Our parents broke the ‘boy’ mold after making him; so he made me his little brother.

My best times and scars were minted by him and he still is there for me even though I have grown into his sister. The lessons learned as his bro, support me now as I navigate the waters of my life. They tell me when to paddle against the current and push hard and when to throw my arms back and let the buoyancy overtake me, hold me up and carry me on.

My brother tells me stories of playing football with the other guys when we were younger. Mind you, he is 8 years my senior and I think they start about the time I was his 4 or 5 year old little bother. He marveled at my fearlessness. He’d dress me in plenty of pads and protective equipment. I remember the powerful feeling loaded with the weight of that armor. It was heavy, bulky, ill-fitting on my frame. I loved it. They’d give me the ball, instruct me to hug it tightly and then run, run, run. I can recall the sound of the big helmet sloshing against my mini head. Over and over, we did this and the whole game as I remember it, was running and getting tackled by a mountain of stinky boys.

When he relates the stories now, there’s almost always a moment where he winces and says, “Several times we knocked you down so hard, I was sure we’d killed you. But you always got up and were ready for more”.

Listening to our childhood memories, a friend of his told me that when he’d play with his younger sister, he’d bundle up toys in a blanket and tie her to a fence. Tethered happily she played and watched the big guys. A great story, but I am as thrilled on this day as I was in those glorious moments when I was playing with the big dogs. No leash for me.

If you know me, actually know me and my ‘story’, you know that I am a pretty happy camper. That I have had wonderful travels, a live-the-dream career that was incredible and a sweet family. Also, that in the past few years, the camping trip has been off the rails. I have asked the Universe to let me up on many occasions. The BIG things that can happen in the course of a person’s entire life have been piled on me all at once, it seems, like the football pile ups I enjoyed as a child.

I even got to hang with the angels for a while last year and was hands down-no contest, the hottest woman in Houston, Texas, at 104.5 degrees for I don’t even know how long. The good news is that 9 doctors couldn’t find a single reason for my ‘health event’ and that is great, IMO. My failing organs are back to tip top, my hair departed and has returned in the craziest of ways, thanks to the blessing of the Ayurvedic sages, and I am back to headstands and working out the rest, day to day. I may currently be a few cards short of a deck but those in the know of the ways of this gatita, know I revel in a challenge. Bring It.

The coolest thing is that loads of people showed me how much a person can be loved. I am the luckiest women who has ever been, because of this. So, my training as a little brother prepared me for life as a woman. I was just happy to be tackled. Thanks Bro.

(when he was just D's lil bro)

"There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in..." Leonard Cohen