Shoes and Women
For those who don’t understand
shoe obsession, it’s rather simple. No matter what sort of hair day it is, whether
your derrière looks ‘fat’ in those pants or life is so crappy that you’re
preparing to jump off of a rooftop; a great pair of kicks can put you on top of
the world, whereas trying on swimsuits can send you searching for the highest
one. American girls are trained to believe in the curative power of the shoe. A ruby red that takes you home; a glass slipper that changes your life...
“I want to write a book about
shoes that’s full of footnotes”. Jarod Kintz
Most expensive shoe - is reportedly a pair of Oz-like Harry
Winston ruby slippers with actual rubies (Dorothy wore sequins). Price 3
Million Dollars
Pretty expensive shoe – A pair of “So Cal” Nikes presented to
rapper Big Boi decorated with gold and 11 carat diamonds. Price 50 Thousand
Dollars
Sandals I bought this week – 6 Dollars, 45 cents (Price $59.94 – 40%
(23.98) -30 discount vouchers, + .49 tax)
Most expensive shoes I have
bought – let’s just say, I spent
a month’s salary. I still have them. They feel like human infant skin, deserve
the moniker ‘stiletto’, and make me about a mile taller. This opens up a new
world when wearing them, giving me view of things that were a mystery before,
like the top of the refrigerator.
When I buy a pair of shoes, it
must be friendly and utilitarian. That said, I will not wear crocs or nurse-y
‘practical’ shoes. I would lop off my feet first. I believe shoes should adorn.
I respect my feet. They are
amazing. The architecture of the foot’s arch alone is astounding and has been
copied to erect skyscrapers. I treat my feet as though I worship them and
perhaps I do… Yet, I am in the minority here, as you will see from the reviews
of various women’s shoes by consumers.
Actual shoe review
quotes with 0 – 5 star rating
“…Straps are a little uncomfortable and un-flexible
but I am sure they will loosen up as I break them in." 4 of 5
"Purchased these on a whim because I
really needed new shoes…” technically a non-whim “ Bought these in the polka dot also. SO cute and get TONS of
compliments!!" 5 of 5
“The leather is a little stiffer than I
usually expect from her shoes, so it doesn't feel as luxurious as it should,
and the platform sole is surprisingly hard with little give. I suspect the
balls of my feet would start aching after standing a while in these shoes - a
gel insert will probably help, … Overall, I'm still so enamored with how lovely
these shoes are that I may still keep them and try to break them in. I haven't
seen any other shoes this spring that have captured my heart so!” 4 of 5
“…wore for 4 hours before my feet hurt! love
the subtle sparkle”. 5 of 5 In other
words you expect painful feet?! (This is a review of a high heeled sandal
called ‘Promise’) i.e. I promise I will hurt your feet?
“Beautiful shoe but not built well… the shoe
wobbles a bit. That's not a good thing if you have a bad back.” 4 of 5 And keeping the health of your back in mind,
wearing this or any 4” heel is…..?
Shoe Terms 101
Toe cleavage: A term I was not familiar
with until a year ago. If you can’t figure it out, it is ‘displayed’ if you
wear a closed toe shoe that is cut low (down there). I wish
I had invented the term! Though I doubt I’d dare flashing mine about town
indiscriminately.
Toe Box: The area (often pointy shaped)
where your toes and ball of foot rest or fit in a shoe.
Actual Shoe names: Syncopation Heels, T-Strap
Kitten Heels, Sonic Booties, Utopia Platform, Detox Wedge, Provoke Platform,
Heya Hot Stuff Platform Pump.
In one of my
next incarnations I will design shoes. Shoes that are SUPER SEXY and EASY TO
WEAR. The toe boxes of my shoes will be designed to accommodate an actual human
foot. Revolutionary. Despite the heel height, they will ensure good posture.
I see women
walking around who look ridiculous because the shoes they wear are ill-fitting
or have such a tiny heel that cause them to teeter about like a cartoonish
dancing mice. If you can’t walk, it is not attractive.
I see women at
dances, weddings, et cetera, who cast off the shoes they have painstakingly selected
because they cannot walk and/or have feet that hurt two minutes into wear.
My favorites shoes have nicknames. Having actual names would be CRAZY. Meet some of the girls:
(Flower Power)
(Pocahontus)
(Stripey)
(Hippie)
(photos by C. Steen)
(photos by C. Steen)
Lastly, I love
the concept of shoe buying. Buy one shoe, get one shoe free.
“Never
judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. Then you’re a mile away
and you have his shoes”.
Attributed to Billy Connolly and Jack Handy
