From My Rules of Etiquette
This is dedicated to all of the
obligatory hello people out there. You should STFU.
There are times and places where
a vocal acknowledgement is unnecessary and indeed, to me, intrusive. One memory that for no reason stays with me
or it stays with me to remind me I am an ass, occurred on a particularly serene
morning walking alone.
In the days of yore when my
children were at home and in their school years, I ran a bustling business, volunteered
and was competing for the domestic goddess title. I had a personal practice
that had me awake at 4:30am for mediation and physical conditioning; no alarm
needed (that’s a yoga practice for you). By about 7:30am I enjoyed walking in our
pleasant neighborhood along streets and bayou paths. This time of day was
important because in the sprawling and humid city of Houston, Texas, the car
exhaust was noticeable to my sensitive deep breath-ed yogi nose and lungs, any
later in the morning.
Once in a blue moon, I would walk with a friend in the morning, usually someone who was on a temporary health
kick, but mostly mornings were my sacred space. It is said that prayer is when
you talk to God and meditation, including walking meditation, is when you listen
to God. The place where the sounds of my foot pattering and my breathing synchronized, was an arena that
recharged me immensely. As I have said before, we need to create some space between our thoughts and this was mine. When I encountered another soul and their
soles those early mornings, a nod of the head or a lighted smile would usually
suffice as a greeting. Rather, it was just an acknowledgement, Hello Person.
This day, I was out a bit longer
and later than was my norm. Ahead in the distance, a bundle of color was moving
toward me. As it got closer a cacophony of shrill feminine voices pierced my
peace. It was jarring in every sensory way.
Literally, my ears were assaulted, my eyes I could smell their lotions
and/or makeup (okay, maybe I couldn’t also taste it) and I believe I felt the
rush on my skin as they parted the air. As this was happening, and I tried to
take it all in and process it fully, and I was working into my smile-nod Hello Person…. wham! All of these hello,
good morning, hello, hi, howdy, good mornings – showered over me. I was still
trying to form words when I heard - bitch, fucking bitch, and what’s her
problem, coming from the gaggle of joggers. Part of me wanted to give chase and
convince them that I’m really a nice person, really I am. Instead I thought,
whoa, what a lot of hostility. Then I thought, gee, maybe I need to quit
judging, need to meditate more or maybe less? I exhaled it all for the moment and went on
about my walking. Yet, it has stuck with me.
At present, I have a different
life and job but seem to still enjoy solitude amidst the craziness that is our
plugged in - connected world. More, there are places where most of us expect solitude or even privacy. One
which comes to mind is the bathroom. What I do in there is private. I consider
it my personal space. I feel that the creators of the modern Western style
public restroom must have envisioned it this way. That is why they created the
stall. The thing with a door that separates you from others while going about
your “privacy”. The Privy, in some
places? Here are some bathroom-etiquette-signs, just because.
If you choose to conduct business
on your telephone, that’s your business although I do wonder about those
flushing sounds your callers hear; it is your private and personal space – so do
what you will. I will admit here, that I have engaged in this behavior on a few occasions. Shame, shame or should
I say, poo, poo. Where I draw the line is when you decide to start a
conversation with me, you in your stall and I in mine. STFU. I am here to have
a private moment with my bodily functions. You are interrupting my stream………..of
consciousness, of concentration. In yoga/meditation we practice being in the
moment. Being present. Doing what you are doing fully. Whether it is your work,
the dishes, love-making or listening to a friend. Just not while I’m already doing this, thank you.
So like the nod of the head
thing, I try not to always be an ass and have developed a soft hmmm hmm. Nothing with too much vigor
lest it be confused with any other restroom audio. Mostly though, I will
instead just be an ass and ignore you and what better place to show your ass-ness?
Namaste, Dammit.
